User blog:Laboratory Tuxedo 500098/ERB Wiki Deathmatch-Bantha vs Tigger
(Setting: Genericcityname-ville, CA-5:00 pm) (Bantha is driving through the streets on a motorcycle, looking for Tiger, who hasn't been seen for days) Bantha: I need to find Tigger, I haven't seen him since Lloyd died... (Suddenly, a helicopter zooms past Bantha, firing missiles at him) Bantha: Ah, FUCK. (Bantha swerves through traffic, missiles blowing up cars and killing civillians. Bantha pulls out a shotgun and fires at the engine of the helicopter, causing it to fall into a building and explode) Bantha: Good thing suspension of disbelief exists! (Staring at the wreckege, Bantha sees a figure walk out of the helicopter) Bantha: ...Tiger? Tiger: Ye. Bantha: But...why? I thought we had something. Tiger: I'm sorry, but the slapnut who wrote this story is writing me like this, because he doesn't have a good reason, and the sleeper agent excuse was used last time. Bantha: Oh, K. (Tiger charges at Bantha and dropkicks him, knocking Bantha down. Tiger walks to Bantha, only to get kicked in the balls) Tiger: AGH! (Bantha kips up, and knees Tiger in the abdomen. Bantha tosses Tiger through a skyscraper, then Tiger flies into a billboard) Bantha: Okay, that must have killed him. (Tiger launches himself through the skyscraper and clotheslines him) Bantha: OW, SHIT! How did you survi- Tiger: Suspension of disbelief and shitty writing! (Tiger tosses Bantha up in the air and gives him a European Uppercut, sending him into a dumpster) Tiger: Time to die! (Tiger pulls out a grenade and tosses it into the dumpster) Tiger: Okay, now that he is going to die, I gotta think of a good motivation. (Suddenly, Bantha flies out from below the earth, and divekicks Tiger in the face) Bantha: You forgot to pull the pin! Tiger: ...God damnit. (Tiger jumps up and throws strikes at Bantha, only to be parried and punched into a car. Tiger staggers up and notices he is on a traffic blocked bridge) Pedestrian: My Corvette! Another pedestrian: Oh my God, stop blocking up traffic, you dick! Tiger: Shut up, you ass! (While Tiger yells, he notices Bantha charging towards him. Tiger raises his foot slightly, causing Bantha to run straight into Tiger's foot. Bantha hunches over in pain) Bantha: Agh, no! My heroic comeback! (Tiger hooks Bantha's arms and lifts him up. Tiger runs off the bridge and hits Bantha with the Tigger Driver) Tiger: I REALLY REGRET THIS! (Tiger and Bantha fall into the water below, the momentum propelling them into the bottom of the ocean, where they fall onto an old nuclear submarine) Tiger: (garbled)Is this a submarine? (The sub explodes and propels Tiger and Bantha into the space. They float for a bit, unconcious, in the dark void of space, only to be hit by a meteorite, and fly through the atmosphere) Bantha and Tiger: SHIT! (Bantha and Tiger fall through the stratosphere, punching and kicking each other) Bantha: I had an idea! (Bantha punches Tiger in his face) Tiger: For what? (Tiger headbutts Bantha) Bantha: For your motivation! (Bantha locks Tiger in a headlock) Tiger: (gasping for air)Okay, shoot! Bantha: Well, Lloyd's death caused you to become deluded, and you decide to avenge him by killing everyone! Tiger: (gasping for air)That's...(breath)...pretty good! Bantha: Thanks! (Tiger elbows Bantha in his abdomen, causing Bantha to let go. Tiger knees Bantha in the gut and lifts him for another Tigger Driver) Tiger: Now die! (Bantha lifts up Tiger and puts him into a Vertebreaker, only to be reversed into a Tigger Driver, and vice versa) Bantha: I'm getting really sick... (Bantha turns over the Tiger Driver halfway, only to hit the ground) BOOM (Bantha and Tiger lie on the ground, in the middle of a crater, unconcious. They try to stagger up, but keep falling. Bantha finally gets up but is weak, bloodied and covered in rock and grime. Tiger, the same) Tiger: Bantha, I can't feel...my legs. (Bantha looks on, clearly saddened) Tiger: (voice cracking)You know what you have to do. (Bantha pulls out his gun as tears run down his eyes) Bantha: I'm sorry, I love you. (Bantha shoots Tiger in the chest, instantly killing him. Bantha falls to his knees) Bantha: At least it's over. (Bantha sobs over Tiger's body) BANTHA WINS! "Lloyd's death seems to already be making waves, am I right?" "Of course, sir." "This collapse is easier than I thought it'd be, taking out each user, leaving the lines of defense minimal." "Only one problem, sir." "And what is that?" "The wiki is getting suspicious." "Damnit, Hoagy, I thought you'd solve that." "Don't worry, crowd control is coming..." Category:Blog posts Category:Blog posts